Writings from Underground

Online Journal of Exclusive Content by Underground Writers | The Truth Is Underground

August 2023 / Vol. 1 Iss. 1

Translucence Project discovers, awakens incarnate gods of the post-gender kingdom

By Eliot X.X. Étoile

Editor's Note: The following piece may disrupt persons adhering to traditional values. Safety being paramount, language, descriptions and information, including names and locations, tending to identify persons described and the spaces they inhabit, have been replaced with non-identifying language.

Planet Earth, MWG — Lawrence Twite drinks coffee at a diner located just off campus. He is tired and nervous, excusing himself repeatedly to step outside for a cigarette. An untouched spinach-feta omelet, sprinkled with chives, goes cold on the table in front of him.

"Please understand my reluctance to speak," he says, sipping the top off a fourth, steaming cup. "I want everyone to know, first and foremost, I stand with the transgender community. My record shows I have always fought for justice and the oppressed."

Twite is a literature professor at a prestigious, American university. In addition to scholarly books, countless articles, and awards for pedagogical excellence, he has, indeed, made tremendous contributions to creating environments of acceptance and celebration of marginalized persons.

Professor Twite co-authored the DEI guidelines used at his school today, a document that served as a model for similar rules and guidelines in other places. In the 1990s, he testified before state legislatures, where he argued in favor of gay marriage. In the 2000s, he called out government and social scapegoating of Muslims in America. During the MeToo era, he led protests that resulted in Title IX cases being prosecuted aggressively at his university.

"Before that, women got raped twice," one colleague says, "the second time by the administration. Twite put a stop to it, wiped the smirks off their faces."

Professor Twite has given lectures all over the world. His writings have earned numerous accolades. On this bright June morning, however, the learned professor rambles incoherently. Other than vague references to "light bearers" and "translucence apostles," he goes on for an hour without stating clearly what it is he's so reluctant to talk about.

"My mother's in the nursing home," he says. "I see her three or four times a week, and I can't tell her anything about what I've been doing, what we've done. She'd be so proud, but she'd die from worry for me. This is going to piss off both sides. Everybody will be coming for us."

For the first time, his eyes do not dart around. They are bloodshot and watery. Dark bags hang below them.

"I know how that sounds," he says.

Short and slight, Professor Twite has a crooked spine from decades sitting behind a desk, hunched over books, reading student papers. In brown slacks and a tweed jacket, his hair tousled as if having just risen from a dead sleep, he appears as normal and dull as any college professor. He says so, himself.

"I think it's the reason they chose me," he says. "That, and I was born female."

Suddenly, he blushes and pushes his plate away. He straightens in the seat and takes an audible, deep breath. He is surprised, chuckling and shaking his head in disbelief. Absently, he takes out a cigarette and lights it.

"No one knows," he says, "except mother, of course. No one's ever known. I've been in academe since the eighties. Nobody asked."

He blows a large cloud of smoke into the air. A rosy shine brightens across his cheeks.

"Guess I just came out," he says, laughing out loud. "What do you know about that?"

As smoke swirls around the diner, customers shoot angry looks and grow louder expressing their annoyance. Professor Twite, staring blankly and grinning, does not seem to notice. His nervousness has passed, and he enjoys a moment of calm and good humor. When told to put out the cigarette or leave, he places a twenty on the table, gets up and walks out the door.

Across a parking lot, he walks and talks like he smokes­­­­­—very fast.

"I planned to take that little secret to the grave," he says, "but not everything's up to us, is it? Ha! The divine nudges us towards the things we avoid, for our own good, to make us better. I have come to believe—no! I know! Transgender people are gateways to these benevolent gods, for all of us. Cis, queer, plain old gay like me, the whole world. It doesn't matter who you are."


A forty-five-minute drive from campus, Professor Twite parks his modest hybrid at the gated entrance of a sprawling, livestock ranch. It is a sunny afternoon. The June trees are rich and green. Cattle graze on a grassy field to the south, while horses roam northerly hills.

Gates open, and the hybrid moves slowly down a blacktop driveway, winding between fields, passing herds of sheep and goats, and emerging from dense woods at the façade of a mansion. Professor Twite is greeted by an octogenarian woman riding an Appaloosa. She wears a flannel shirt, blue jeans and cowboy boots. She climbs off the horse and embraces the professor.

Inside the mansion, there is a long, wide hallway. Its marble floors shine. The woman, Birdie Schmidt, leads the way at a brisk pace. She turns down a stone path that winds around a softly babbling fountain at the center of the mansion.

Birdie operated the ranch with her husband for three-and-a-half decades, until his death seventeen years ago, and has since run the place by herself.

"I campaigned for Trump," Birdie says. "Had flags waving up and down every road that runs along this property: 'Make America Great.' 'Keep America First.' 'Don't Blame Me. I Voted for Trump.' It's all nonsense in the presence of the Light Bearers. My dearly departed would swear I've lost my head, but it's like they say: 'Truth is drawn to light; evil, to the night.'"

At the end of the stone path, at the back of the mansion, Birdie pushes apart double doors, which open into a solarium, warmly lit by the midday sun.

The solarium, like the mansion itself, is immaculately clean. Under a closed, retractable roof, there are outdoor tables and chairs: four tables arranged at the points of a perfect square, four chairs around each table, all of them white as snow. In the center of the square, which is also the center of the room, is an unlit fire pit.

Eleven people sit about. They converse quietly.

"That's as far as I go for now," Birdie says and shuts the doors behind Professor Twite.

The eleven rise to greet him with hugs and kisses on the cheek. They call him "brother" and tell him how tired he looks. He must take more time to care for himself, they say, begging him to rest in a chair. They bring fresh fruit, salty nuts and a cold glass of iceless water.

"These be the Light Bearers," Professor Twite says as if reciting poetry, "hospitable to the point of being in love with you."

The remark prompts collective laughter. "The Light Bearers," as the professor calls them, commend him for his sharp wit.

"I remember," one of them says, a Haitian woman with lovely, flowing, grey hair, "when you called us 'weird normal.'"

At this, Professor Twite laughs along with everyone else and becomes overwhelmed with amusement. He must stand and buckle at the waist to expel his cackling.

All joking aside, however, his past assessment seems apt.

The Light Bearers appear to be average, cis men and women. In fact, at first sight, what is most remarkable about them is their ordinariness: six men, five women, in matching beige sweaters, light-brown pants, and dark-brown shoes. Each of them is neatly groomed.

For the sake of diversity, their saving grace is that their shapes, sizes and skin color run the full spectrum. They are tall and short, round and slim, Black, Brown and white.

"Their brilliance is rooted in humility," Professor Twite explains, "born paradoxically of tremendous pride. In every way, they are humanity's superiors."

In the lovely light of the solarium, the professor is calm and refreshed, appearing a decade younger. He enjoys the simple food and water and does not smoke.

"Before Light Bearers awaken to that truth," he says, "they seem merely human, even to themselves."

The grey-haired woman, who is called Esther, stands at the front of the room, a signal to the rest to be seated.

"Friends, your love fills me, and in return I love you," Esther says, "and our love overflows and consumes the world. To that end, let us acknowledge the work of our beloved apostles and their Translucence Project, which undertakes to seek out, for awakening, our members incarnate among humanity's transgender community."

She gestures to Professor Twite as a door opens behind her, at a back corner of the solarium. Coming in through it, Birdie escorts a young, adult person.

"We are most pleased by our apostles, Lawrence and Birdie," Esther continues, "who have brought today our most welcome guests, Ms.-and-Mr. Eliot Étoile, whose skills with the mighty pen we are sure will spread, far and wide, our message of pride and its victory."


A ceremony commences as harp music plays from an unseen source. Esther opens her arms to Birdie and the young, adult person. All the Light Bearers stand.

"Dear friends, join me in welcoming Aurora," Esther says.

The Light Bearers line up and come forward to greet Aurora, with handshakes and hugs. Aurora has rainbow hair, and colorful, yet stylish, clothes and makeup, including glittery Louboutin sneakers. The Light Bearers encircle the fire pit. Aurora kneels before Esther. Professor Twite and Birdie watch from the back of the room.

"Love and Pride be with you always," Esther says. "There is no Love without Pride."

"And no Pride without Love," the Light Bearers respond.

"Friends, we come together today to welcome a new member into our fold," Esther proclaims. "It has been twenty years since Aurora entered this existence, in human form, out of a human womb, fully human, fully divine. Praised be the Light Bearers."

"Glorified be the one who bears the light," the group calls back.

In the cold fire pit, thick tongues of flame whoosh to life. At the same time, the sun is blocked by a dark cloud. The light in the solarium turns from golden to grey. At the center of the room, the fire is a wildly pulsating heart. Warmth fills the room, relieving a chill so slight, it went unnoticed until the moment it was gone.

"Aurora, what mark were you given?" Esther asks.

"Female," Aurora answers.

The Light Bearers gasp.

"And what did they name you?"


The Light Bearers groan.

"And what is your true name?"

"Aurora Euphoria Honeybeehive Blownglass."

The Light Bearers sigh, and their brief, collective sigh becomes a sustained, collective droning. The fire rises and cracks.

"Who presents you for coronation?" Esther says.

"Lawrence Twite, Apostle of the Light Bearers," Aurora replies as, gently, she begins to weep. "He is my teacher," she says.

Professor Twite comes forward, kneels and bows his head. As he approaches, the tears on his face reflect the light of the fire, and the droning of the Light Bearers deepens and grows louder.

"Apostle Lawrence," Esther calls out, "does Aurora bear the light?"

"My queen and my god, yes," Professor Twite replies.

"And is she prepared to awaken?"

"My queen and my god, yes."

"Praised be the Light Bearers," Esther sings.

"Glorified be the one who bears the light," drones the response.

Escorted by Birdie and Professor Twite, Aurora exits the solarium, is led upstairs to a luxurious bathroom, and is bathed, assisted by four women, who are also apostles. They wash away makeup, rainbow hair coloring and nail polish. The hair is cut and neatly styled, and all jewelry is removed, including a locket holding a picture of Aurora's mother.

Aurora emerges in the fashion of the Light Bearer: beige sweater, brown pants and shoes. On the walk back, this time Aurora leads, and Professor Twite and Birdie follow.

In the solarium, the fire burns low and steady, and the Light Bearers, holding hands in a circle around the fire pit, drone quietly.

"Apostle Lawrence," Esther asks, "is the queen prepared to be crowned?"

"My queen and my god, yes," Professor Twite answers.

"And what is Aurora's power?"

"My queen and my god, the power to heal."

In the flickering light of the fire, Professor Twite removes his jacket, shirt and tie, and undershirt. Two faded scars cross his chest, where mammary glands were removed, long ago. His back is in worse condition than his appearance in clothes suggests. What seemed a severe curvature is revealed as the milder, upper hook of a developing hunchback.

Professor Twite, though standing, seems trapped under a rock, his spine, a serpent, fossilized within his flesh. Aurora lays hands on Professor Twite's back. The Light Bearers drone. Tongues of flame lick and smack and glow brilliantly in the fire pit. Vertebrae pop like champagne corks, the bright sun emerges from behind the dark cloud, and Professor Twite stands straight, his hunchback vanishing in seconds. He exclaims with great joy.

Aurora touches his scars, and they disappear, unmasking a healthy man's chest.

The Light Bearers then call upon the ones who are testifying to these things and have written them.

"Come forward," Esther says. "Do you want to be healed?"

"We have no infirmity," we reply.

The Light Bearers drone louder.

"Not so," Esther admonishes. "You are injured from childhood, from assaults upon your mind, by adults who should have nurtured your existence, cared for your needs. To this day, your thoughts oppress you, addiction and fear. Do you want to be free?"

"You know our secrets," we say, weeping, kneeling. "You know everything."

"Do you want to be healed?" Esther asks.

"Our queen and our god," we proclaim, "yes."

And Aurora lays hands upon our head, and the fingers feel like thorns. From that moment, our oppressive thoughts, injuries, addictions, fears and resentments are washed away. From that moment, our souls are at peace, and our bodies move easily about the earth.

These are the ones who are testifying to these things and have written them, and we know that our testimony is true.

Praised be the Light Bearers.

Glorified be the one who bears the light.


After the ceremony, Professor Twite granted a brief interview. We met with him at his office on campus. He was refreshed, vibrant, and neither drank coffee nor smoked tobacco, nor felt the urge, apparently. He surmised the afflictions had been remedied by what he called "Aurora's ambient power."

The following is a partial transcript of our interview with Professor Lawrence Twite, Apostle of the Light Bearers and co-founder of the Translucence Project.

Professor, at the risk of sounding unprofessional, what the hell just happened? And don't you think you might have provided fair warning to a trusting journalist?

(Laughing) I tried to figure out how to do that. I could never find the right words. What do you say in a situation like that? Finally, I went with "grab your notepad and follow me." I still can't believe you did. I thought you'd abandon me outside the diner.

(Laughing) I was worried about you!

I know! I'm so sorry! I was behaving terribly, I knew it, and it was like I couldn't control myself. I was as frightened as I've ever been. The Light Bearers chose you to share this message with the world. It was my job to bring you to them. I was sure I would fail.

You came out—to me—someone you'd just met.

Oh, thank you—I didn't mean—that's not why—thank you. You were so kind and compassionate, though it seems a lowlight compared to the rest of the day.

What happened, Professor? What was it all about?

The coronation ceremony for an incarnate god at the moment of full awakening.

When you say "god"—?

I mean higher, spiritual beings, greater than us, who love us and want what's best for us, if we will only open our arms and receive their love and the fruits of their wisdom.

And "incarnate"?

One way Light Bearers help us is by dwelling among us. They do so in human form, divine souls incarnate. Before what we call "awakening," they are not fully aware of their divinity. Even so, they are drawn to goodness, truth and justice by the raw power of this hidden godliness. I think that's why they're all transgender prior to awakening.

Who or what exactly are the Light Bearers?

Ancient, benevolent gods, largely hidden from mankind until now. They are revealing themselves because we are ready to know them. We have achieved sufficient enlightenment, the pinnacle of which is our evolved understanding of gender.

How are Light Bearers revealed to mankind?

Revelation grows with each awakening. As more come into the light, more eyes begin to see them. Today, Queen Aurora's coronation was complete the moment she expressed her full power, which is also the moment of full awakening. Before that, I was with her for two years, guiding her, incrementally, to this day.

So, this was two years in the making.

A year of instruction, a year of preparation. That is the period of awakening. Believe me, you need at least that much time to grasp your own divinity.

And this is what you call the Translucence Project.

The Translucence Project of the Apostles of the Light Bearers. Yes, that's it. Apostles, out in the world, seeking Light Bearers, finding them, and guiding them to awakening.

Seeking them in the transgender community…

That is the only place they have been found.

How do you identify an incarnate Light Bearer? An "unawakened" god?

Evidence of maturity and wisdom is a good place to start. "Wisdom beyond their years," as they say. It's not an exact science. Apostles work closely with Light Bearers during the awakening period to make a final determination, as I did with Esther, in regard to Aurora.

Are some discovered not to be Light Bearers?

It hardly ever happens. Apostles with this assignment are savvy and experienced. At any rate, ones who are not Light Bearers usually turn away during the instruction period. True Light Bearers never do. They always achieve awakening.

Why do you use the word "translucence"?

It refers to a Light Bearer's state of mind and soul prior to awakening. A transgender person, who is an incarnate Light Bearer, not yet awakened, feels the light within them, the light of divinity—goodness, power, pride. But they don't yet fully comprehend it. The light shines, but the divine image within is obscured. We call this the state of translucence.

Does a Light Bearer need an apostle to achieve awakening?

Very good question. Technically, no. The divine power of the Light Bearers is sufficient to overcome any earthly constraint. That said, awakening has never happened without the assistance and guidance of an apostle. The Light Bearers are silent on the matter, and most apostles believe it is for the good of humanity that Light Bearers allow us to interact with them in this way. It's for our own good that their incarnate spirits restrain themselves. They love us and want us to know them better, to benefit from their power. As an apostle, I can tell you that guiding a Light Bearer to awakening is the most intense and enlightening experience mere humans can hope for.

Now, all of that said, we have seen translucent persons begin the process of awakening without the help of an apostle. People like this do best when they seek out allies, that is, people who are open-minded and supportive. Many reject ideas like these out of hand because they challenge established traditions. These kinds of people will only hinder a translucent's awakening. Let the Light Bearers who wear the crown deal with them. Allies, on the other hand, are the best way to keep yourself safe and find an apostle, because the Translucence Project recruits allies, who, themselves, more and more, are becoming apostles. Find people you trust, share your news with them. You'll be able to judge them by their responses. True allies will aid your search for an apostle. If you seek with a sincere heart, someone will find you. There are allies, apostles and tribes of Light Bearers all over the world, as well as places, like Birdie's ranch, where they gather for ceremonial activities.

Why not just

Wait. My apology. Before we go to that, I just need to say, and it needs to be understood, unequivocally, that no one associated with the Translucence Project will ever solicit or receive money, gifts or payment of any kind to support our mission. It is an offense against the providential assurances of the Light Bearers to do so. Apostles serve Light Bearers, who, in turn, provide for their apostles. Now, again, apologies. Your question.

Yes, why notwhy be so off the grid? Why not use Twitter and social media to promote your message and reach out to those who may be translucent?

We are on the grid, just not in a way that you'd notice. We use social media to find individuals we strongly suspect to be translucent, but we approach them in person, never online. It would endanger them to do so. Our movement is most certainly grassroots, and much of our work is underground, unreported on—

Until now.

Correct. You're the first person who's ever been invited by the Light Bearers to share their message.

Why me?

I don't know. But from what I've seen, in the few hours I've known you, I would guess it has something to do with your kindness and open-mindedness. You have an expansive intellect. You seem to welcome whatever comes to you.

Well, whatthat's very kind. I don't quite know what to say.

That's okay.

Let me, if I could, maybe switch gears. Could youcan you tell me what kinds of things indicate that you or someone you know might be translucent?

Do you possess insights that other people do not? When you explain your ideas, do people have difficulty understanding or keeping up with you? Do you feel strongly that your gender journey has led you to a particularly multifaceted identity? As opposed to a more limited or singular one? Do you find yourself drawn away from, not towards, the world and its chaos? Are you called to something higher? Do you possess a keen sense of justice and compassion? Do you sacrifice or suffer far more for others than they do for you? And does it come naturally to you to do that? Finally, do you possess, or sense that you possess, powers beyond quotidian, mortal abilities and talents?

What sorts of powers?

Healing is rarer, which is what made Aurora's coronation so special. The exact nature of a Light Bearer's power is something that is discovered during the awakening process, but others include an exceptional capacity to lead, which is Queen Esther's power, as well as the powers of prophecy, wisdom, justice, mercy, instruction, creation, hospitality. Things like mediumship, bilocation, telekinesis—we see them, but not as much.

Light Bearers are more powerful than humans in all these ways, but they have one power, sometimes two, that are especially strong, like Aurora's healing power. Other powers are common to all Light Bearers, like cleanliness, orderliness, modesty, celibacy—


Yes, Light Bearers are celibate from the time they begin the awakening process. It's up to the person. It's their choice. Nevertheless, Light Bearers are and must be celibate.

Okay, but why?

Healthy, sexual activity is fine and encouraged for humanity, but it is, shall we say, beneath the dignity of Light Bearers. Also, and you will see this, they are absorbed in the work of their powers, work whose importance and meaning are beyond our capacity to fully comprehend, which means we can't always grasp their ways and methods. They are celibate, although celibacy, in and of itself, does not mean a person is a Light Bearer.

Why was the color washed from Aurora's hair? Why wear brown clothes?

The creative ways transgender people tend to express themselves arise when their deeply felt pride and desire to be free clash with oppressive systems. Light Bearers have perfected pride. Right? "No Love without Pride. No Pride without Love." And they are fully and completely free, including from the effects of oppression. The way Light Bearers express themselves reflects the status of their existence, just as the way transgender people express themselves reflects theirs.

What awaits an awakened Light Bearer? What happens to Aurora now?

I'll be able to tell you that when I see it, but whatever it is will be magnificent and beautiful. Without revealing things that might place others in danger, I can tell you I have witnessed many miracles like the ones you witnessed today, some even greater.

Where is all of this ultimately going, Professor? How does it end?

The Light Bearers describe humanity's end, also known as the end of time, as the moment of establishment of a kingdom of prisoners, freed from the clutches of the jailer. In that kingdom, the oppressed of this world are eternally free, and the jailer of this world becomes the prisoner. And the latter repents because, whereas he was cruel and heartless, his jailers in this paradisial kingdom—who, of course, were his prisoners in this world—are kind and compassionate. Though he repents, his shame overwhelms him. Though he is forgiven and welcome in the kingdom, he cannot stand before the Light Bearers, who are the kingdom's benevolent rulers, cannot face the jailers, who are his former victims, and cannot step out of his prison, where suffering and shame are an eternal fire, even though the cell door swings wide.

Please tell me more.

(Laughing) I understand your enthusiasm, and I promise we will soon get to all that and much, much more. Everything in its time. What I can say is that things like death, suffering, hate and gender are moot concepts in the kingdom of the Light Bearers.

You are transgender. Is that true of all apostles?

No. Most apostles are transgender, but any ally can be an apostle, and we have several very dedicated cis apostles involved in the Translucence Project. Some cis people show more compassion and understanding than some trans, unfortunately. The Light Bearers delight in sharing their power and wisdom with all of humanity.

You said the Light Bearers dwell among us. How long have they been with us?

Since the beginning. They existed before we did.

Do they wear beige sweaters and brown clothes all the time?

(Laughing) No, that's ceremonial attire, although when they're in the world, they prefer things to be lowkey. Clothes, music, social interactions. They enjoy life. They love good food. But overstimulation—a word we would use, but they call it something else, something not translatable—overstimulation of the senses, which appears to happen at a lower threshold for Light Bearers, causes what one of them has described to me as a sort of vertigo, as if the attachments of this world cloud their sense of themselves, their sense of their own divine nature. It is a passing feeling, but they try to avoid it.

And no photographs of their faces?

And none of the apostles, please. It is an offense to photograph a Light Bearer. For the rest of us, it's in the interests of safety and to avoid making our jobs impossible.

Why do Light Bearers love humanity?

Love is what they do. It is who and what they are. You should see them with puppies.

You said "this"—by which I assume you mean the revelation of the Light Bearers—you said, "This is going to piss off both sides. Everybody will be coming for us."

I should have said "all sides." They will be coming at us from all sides. It has been prophesied, but then it also makes perfect sense. The Light Bearers present a clear and present threat to the established traditions and institutions of this world. I don't want to say anything more about it. Reasonable people can put two and two together.

I don't think I can write an article whose publication will put people in danger.

Eliot, now, listen to me carefully. The Light Bearers chose you. They called you by name. You will write about what you have witnessed this day, in words the Light Bearers have already seen, down to the letter. They healed you, so that you would believe. You are an apostle because of the words you will write. But as apostles of the Light Bearers, we are sheep among the wolves of humanity. I wish it were not so, but it's the only way a message of love and pride can enter a hostile world.

You said, "Their brilliance is rooted in humility born paradoxically of…pride."

From heavenly thrones, Light Bearers stoop to love and care for us. You know, they understand the teachings of Jesus better than Christians do. Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself," and Christians celebrate the first part of that statement, even if they don't always live it. But they don't really care to explore the second part.

"Love yourself."

Exactly. Love, be pleased with yourself. Jesus acknowledges that the starting point of love of the other, is love of oneself. Now consider John 15—"No one has greater love than to lay down his life for his friends." The ultimate act of humility, dying to save your neighbor, is an act of unsurpassed love, a love whose foundation, Jesus taught us, and the Light Bearers affirm, is love of self. In a word: Pride.

Alta Sub Terra Investigates


(Victoria Waddell/AST Images)